Sunday, July 31, 2005

wanted: socially inept, mentally challenged scum of the earth

Listening: a private interlude, Groove Armada


How exactly does Petco get these godawful people to work for them? It's not just in Manchvegas either. It's everywhere. I just don't understand how Petco gets all these jerkoffs to fill out an application. Honestly, what does the ad say? "Best friend a gerbil? No people skills? Low IQ? Can't count? Don't like to shower regularly? Then come work for Petco. We don't care if you're a social retard because we don't have to talk to you." Every single time I go in, I have to deal with this crap. From the rotund douchebag, who I actually avoid at all costs and will STAND IN LINE rather than go through her line, who bitched me out when my debit card was denied (Bank North had conveniently disabled my PIN number--thanks, you bunch of money grabbing bastards!), to the ass who watched me search for the good dog food for 15 minutes before asking me if I needed help and then flashed me a I-suck-blood-and-play-magick-cards smile and told me they were out, to the pimply faced beyatch who argued with the couple in front of me about their return for 20 minutes, while my arms slowly went numb from clinging to the bag of dog food I had found instead of just giving them their bloody money back. And that's another thing. Why do all the freaks congregate at Petco? You get the ass who comes in with the dog with no leash and is wondering why everyone is staring. The semi retarded chick who was talking to her dog the entire 15 minutes she stood behind me--like talked like I'm talking now. Not "good dog" or "want a treat". Like what she had for lunch and what happened on Days of Lives that afternoon. Always the guy jerking off to the ferret display--I will never understand why people want to keep diseased ridden vermin in their homes--that is how the plague started. I swear to God, it makes me want to puke.

And then there's guy who was making the return in front of me (may I add these people were returning literally PALLETES of freakin' cat food with seven or eight different receipts. What, do you live up in the MOUNTAINS? Is this your yearly trip in to buy jingly balls and catnip? What the HELL??!) insisted on telling me the tragic saga of the cat food while I tried not the grab the closest greenie and stab him in the head. Dog food and greenies took 45 minutes. I hate everyone.

I have done absolutely nothing this weekend. Roommate is gone. Friday night I hung out and watched TV and yesterday I watched TV ALL DAY. Watched Eternal Sunshine again (it's a good movie but I really think it missed it's mark. Adaptation is SOO MUCH BETTER.), Rolling Kansas, I Love the 70's on Vh1 and, fortunately, Bill Maher's new special "I'm Swiss" which made me laugh until I wanted to puke. Oh God, he's great. I'm going to watch it again tonight because I missed the first half hour. Also watched some MTV2 and indulged my inner 12 year old little boy. Put up with some Punkd with the Cooch to watch Jason Bateman (I just watched the Sweetest Thing again--he's great in it). He's so hot.

Then I watched Viva La Bam, starring the Hottest Badass on the Planet Bam Margera. Oh, he's hot. He IS!

See? Yeah I know he's probably an ass but he's still hot-with-two-t's.

I want SHOWTIME!! Since I haven't been following Six Feet Under in three weeks (and I KNOW something big happened--I don't want to know! I'll watch it on the reruns) and CSI: NY is boring the crap out of me, I need something good to watch and this must be be it.

The fabulous Mary-Louise Parker, my fave since About Last Night Elizabeth Perkins and that cutie patootie Justin Kirk from 'Angels in America' in a show about ganj. It looks great. Here's a great pic of Mary-Louise:

I am kind of looking forward to Aeon Flux--but when are they making a "The Head" movie? C'mon!

I'm heading down to Orlando, FLA on Friday for little sis' graduation and then I'm on vaca the next week--HOORAY!


nicole said...

greetings! just found you today by waqy of my referral/stat thingie- just wanted to let you know this is the single best ever entry i've read on any site. dont ask me why, i dont know. you just seem to cover all bases. thank you for such a great read! and what's the 'weeds' thing you are referring to????

nicole said...

btw- the bf and i agree- petco is the worst place EVER. we want to kill ourselves every time we go there.

Jen said...

Thanks--sometimes you just have to get it out.

Weeds is a new show on Showtime. You can check it out here