Saturday, July 03, 2004

exile on main street

It's been a year and nearly two months since my last post. I lost last summer and haven't had the gumption to start again. I found myself needing a place to put my thoughts, other than in my head. Summer always does this to me. I find myself needing an outlet, online or offline, to store every thought that has built up in my head since last summer.
I'm listening to the Stone's 'Exile on Main Street' this afternoon. It arrived in the mail today and, I have to say, I enjoy is immensly. That's another thing. I've found myself seeking out the music of my youth.
Well, not nessacarily MY youth. The bands that have been spinning in my CD player lately are mostly those of my PARENT'S youth...even what the may have listened to when they were my age, an age I am beginning to refer to less and less as "youth". I find myself drawn to this kind of music. Maybe because it's a precious relic from another age, a simpler time, a time that I never experienced but I time I yearn for increasingly every day. I don't know what it is. The last couple of weekends, I've been playing Zeppelin II and the Who's greatest hits on a loop. I needed, no CRAVED more. The way it makes me feel...I can't describe it. It makes my soul feel quiet and still. Since our record player is on the eternal fritz, I went on HALF.COM and bought more to assuage my craving. They don't make a patch for this kind of thing.
Maybe I need something to hold on to. Throughout the winter and spring, I listen to electronica CONSTANTLY. And Coldplay. That's it. On a loop in my car. For weeks. I was starving for something with a little more substance, something that would stick to my ribs (not that Coldplay is not substantial. Sorry. They are my favorite band on the planet...but I find either a.)I need to enjoy them in moderation, as Chris's heartbreak and sorrow will drag you down into a blur of Radiohead-like shrills and pining or b.)they NEED to put out another album, stat. I have worn both Parachutes AND ROBTH down and the live CD is great can swallow only so many tears for loves lost.). Electronica can bring you higher emotionally and mentally, but sometimes, especially this time of year, it feels like a Snickers bar to me. You eat it when you're hungry, you dance for joy and you end up feeling empty 20 minutes later, with a headache and an urge to brush your teeth.
So I found something with a little more meat on it's bones. There's something incredibly sexy and seductive about listening to Zeppelin or the Rolling Stones, the Who, Bob Dylan. I like the way each of them makes me feel. Sure, they sing about the same things as our modern "artists" do: lost love, found love, drugs and love. But they do it BETTER. More sincere. There's something hugely enjoyable about listening to an album and knowing that it is incredibly organic (ok, ok I know there are synths on a lot of Zeppelin's albums, the Who, too). I think I could compare this music to pulling a tomato from it's vine in the garden and biting into it, letting the sunwarmed tangy flesh to melt on your tongue, having to brush off the dirt from the skin before taking another bite. It's feels like the dust on your shoes or the wind through your fingers as you're driving down the highway. It's achingly raw and real and true.
Probably explains why I was kind of cranky this afternoon when I returned from the dump this afternoon to find Neil listening to the blaring, Euroshit techno babble (it has a name: Chumbawumba) that was nearly turning my stomach. Granted, they are a really inventive and interesting group (they are NOT a band), but it was giving me an aspartame headache. It grated on my nerves until he finally tired of it and threw Blur in the stereo (not a bad choice but a bit rich for my tastes today). So sue me for being a bit frowny all afternoon. I threw Exile in when he left and I feel much better now.
Quite a long post about practically nothing at all. Life has remained painfully normal these last 14 months. Neil and I kicked Mikey (see previous posts) out the week of my birthday. We moved into the downstairs apartment in June when Lora (also see previous posts) moved out. I still work where I used to work. I actually quit the last week of December (I couldn't do it anymore. My Christmas was LITERALLY ruined and I was pulling my air out) but they offered me a new position, which I do enjoy. I feel more comfortable there these days, probably because I've worked there nearly four years. Feels like home.
Talk to you soon.

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