Wednesday, September 06, 2000

Okay, okay, okay...

I know I haven't written in ages. I'm not dead, I swear. Just...busy.

School started last week. Man, it's hard. I haven't been a student in such a long time. Yeah, I know, I went to UNH, but, in actuality, I was just living there. I didn't go to class, just took up space. I talked to Ania today about cutting my hours. I've been working 38.5 hours a week and taking four classes, two each MWF and TTH. I thought I would be strong enough to keep that schedule, but here it is Wednesday, the first Wednesday of the second week of classes and I've already backed down, begging her to cut my Wednesday shifts. She's making me come in today, but that's okay. It's a relief, but I still think I'm a wuss.

I skipped classes yesterday and went to Neil and Meg's and hung out, watched Fox TV, was all snuggly warm in Neil's velveteen blanket. It was nice to relax. It made me realize I never really have time for myself. Yeah, three hours in between school and work on MWF and, what, five hours on TTH? It isn't enough. I've officially delegated Wednesdays as Jen Days. I don't go out (since I do that TTH and Sunday). I stay home, do schoolwork and chill with the fam. I'm sure I'll quickly get sick of it since my parents' relationship with me is beginning to be an ever constant fight over classes and money. Money makes my head spin. I wish I didn't even have to deal with it anymore. Everything I do, I'm thinking about money, adding up numbers in my head, wondering if I'll have enough. I doubt I'll ever have enough money to move out.

Despite that last paragraph, I DID buy a new computer last week that should be here tomorrow or Friday. My parents were pissed. But I can afford it, only sixty bucks a month. I can handle it. I hope. Who knows?

And I miss my dog.

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