tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4228502024-03-07T18:00:11.141-05:00sentimental geeklive from crazy townUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger239125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-90769741685674273602012-01-08T21:23:00.000-05:002012-01-08T21:26:52.717-05:00i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Part of me wants to write about this. About how death is scary. Death is quiet. Death is peace. Part of me wants to write about how unfair it is that my cousin will have to think every year, on her birthday, that this was the day that her mother passed on.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Part of me wants to write how important it is to say "I love you" to every one you love every day because you never know when it's going to be the last time you see them. The last time they see you.</span></div>
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<div style="background-color: white; color: #505050; line-height: 24px; padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But I can't. I don't know how to do it. I don't know what to say to someone who has just lost their mother. I don't know what I will do on that awful day. I just wish her love and peace. So much love and so much peace.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">i carry your heart with me(i carry it in</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">my heart)i am never without it(anywhere</span></div>
<div style="padding-left: 1em; text-indent: -1em;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">by only me is your doing,my darling)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> i fear</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">and whatever a sun will always sing is you</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">here is the deepest secret nobody knows</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">-e e cummings</span></div>
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<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-61410951499037477512012-01-07T20:32:00.000-05:002012-01-07T21:24:32.903-05:00i think i canSo it's 2012 and we're all still here. Personally, I was hoping for an apocalypse-type-thing because I am the world's greatest procrastinator. I start books, diets, exercise regimes, blogs (ahem) with no intention of ever finishing them. I don't believe in will power, at least not in the sense that I have any at all. Shiny things get my attention. I just have issues, yo. Look, I'm even starting my resolutions list a week late! I win.<br />
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But in the interest of actually having 2012 be different from 2011 (and 2010 and 2009...you get the idea), I WOULD like to make a few changes in my life. Accomplish something. Do something. So here is my wishlist for 2012. I think ten is reasonable, so boom:<br />
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<ul>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Quit smoking, for crying out loud.</u> Not only is it reallyreallyREALLY expensive (and also kinda gross, I KNOW), I am basically limiting almost everything in my life for this one vice. A pack-a-day vice, which makes me sound like an aging classic rock singer or a trucker. It makes me spend way to o much money for paper and dried up plant. It makes my lungs hurt. It makes me gaspy and coughy. Not sure the way to go, though. Due to other medications, chantix seems like it might not be for me. e-cigarettes = more smoking. The patch gives me weird dreams. The gum tastes like shit. Oh, shit. I'm talking myself out of it already. For realsies. I'm going to throw-down like the detox scene in Trainspotting. <a href="http://youtu.be/IJrWlHRT-18">Except for the suppositories and toilet diving.</a></li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Move that ass.</u> Due to my crazy-ass smoking, exercise has been out of the picture for over a year. I've gained weight, which I hate so much, since I was not exactly a skinny girl to begin with. I wanna climb stairs without feeling like I'm going to die.</li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">It's all about the Benjamins</u> I seriously have to concentrate on saving in 2012, especially for reason #4. I plan to do this two-fold: get a 401K plan started at work (yes I KNOW it's insane that I don't have one.) and put away as much as I can a paycheck. I need some cushion in case, oh, I don't know, my insanely effed up car decides to shit the bed for good.</li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">MOVE OUT</u> After 9 years of living on my own, I had some issues that landed me back with my parents. That was November 2010. I need my own place. Preferably <a href="http://www.ci.keene.nh.us/">in-town</a>, two-bedroom, accepts a dog and two cats, including heat, hot water and snow removal. Also must not be ghetto or directly next door to a <a href="http://www.keene.edu/">KSC </a>frat house. Big windows and walking distance to work a plus. Walking distance to bars a plus plus.</li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Read more. Like, a lot more</u> Remember how I said I couldn't finish a book? Yeah, it's EPIC. I have total book ADD (I blame <a href="http://www.npr.org/books/">NPR </a>and <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/books/">Huffington Post</a>. Also <a href="http://www.oprah.com/book_club.html">Oprah</a>--I can't help it. That bitch knows EVERYTHING.) My goal is to read one a week. My brain needs the exercise. Today I started <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Tigers-Wife-Novel-Tea-Obreht/dp/0385343833">'The Tiger's Wife' by Tea Obreht</a>.</li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Spend more time with my family.</u> So it may seem counterproductive to want to move away from my family but also be closer to them, but I have good reason to want this. Last month, a family member was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and was given days to live. It may seem dramatic, but seeing all my aunts that I haven't seen in years has made me want to be closer to my sister, my brother, my parents, my grandmother. It's all about making the effort. You never know what will happen. And it's never too late.</li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Get crafty</u> Learn to crochet. Learn to knit. Sew my own curtains. Anything but scrapbook. If you see me near a Cricut, I give you permission to smack a bitch.</li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Get a tattoo.</u> Yeah. So. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want one.</li>
<li><b><u>Get my passport stamped, damn it.</u> </b>I didn't travel in 2011 and my passport is totally pouting about it. Amsterdam, Scandinavia, Columbia, Prague (again?), India? Anywhere but here, yo. I need to move about this world. I get nervous when I haven't been completely cursed out in a foreign language after awhile. Canada counts, too. I've never been to Montreal. Would love to hit up the West Coast and see San Francisco or Seattle. Or Portland. Or anywhere.</li>
<li><u style="font-weight: bold;">Fall in love.</u> 'Nuff said. I know you can't force it but I'm doing the work, kissing the frogs and keeping my fingers crossed.</li>
</ul>
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So hopefully I will keep blogging and keep you up to date on how badly I am failing at all of this. 'Til then, ta.</div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-62009582983292065182012-01-07T14:44:00.004-05:002012-01-07T14:44:44.073-05:00it's not fair to call it a comeback--my therapist has been bugging me to start writing for the last year and a half. Most of the time, I feel like I don't have much to say. The internet has made the world much smaller and posting intimate details and thoughts makes me as nervous as a whore in church.<br />
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Let's just start where I wanna start. I like music. I like photography. I like food. I like my dog.<br />
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Sometimes I will post about music I'm listening to. Sometimes I will post pretty pictures. Sometimes I will rant.<br />
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Sometimes I'll keep it all in my head. But this space is here. That's what's important.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-80404617579977308682007-08-12T17:06:00.001-04:002007-08-12T17:46:06.289-04:00she gave us a mirror she gave us a map<style type="text/css">.flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; }.flickr-yourcomment { }.flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; }.flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; }</style><div class="flickr-frame"> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jenlynpics/1088803642/" title="photo sharing"><img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1101/1088803642_f0ec3f45a0.jpg" class="flickr-photo" alt="" /></a><br /> <span class="flickr-caption"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jenlynpics/1088803642/">she gave us a mirror she gave us a map</a>, originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/jenlynpics/">jenlyn</a>.</span></div> <p class="flickr-yourcomment"> It started at the old mental hospital in Concord.<br /><br />Walking around and around. Knocking on doors. Peering in windows.<br /><br />I just wanted to get in.<br /><br />Alas, everything happens for a reason.<br /><br />We got in the car and drove north. Out of Concord. Into the country. Through a cemetery or two. Because I like cemeteries.<br /><br />We drove past a road that said "Webster Cemetery". I made a quick U-turn because, you know, I like cemeteries.<br /><br />Drove past three large, abandoned, open brick buildings. Drove past the birthplace of Daniel Webster.<br /><br />Wondered who the hell Daniel Webster was.<br /><br />Drove through a corn field.<br /><br />Came back to the buildings.<br /><br />Ultimately gathered it all up and asked if I could go inside one of the buildings.<br /><br />Said "I'm a photographer".</p><br /><br />Additionally, <a href="http://www.sufjan.com">Sufjan Stevens</a> was on <a href="http://www.pbs.org/austin">Austin City Limits</a> last night. I've been watching it on a loop. Where did he come from? He has got such a gift. <br /><a href="http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=7368242">Sufjan Stevens - Casimir Pulaski Day</a><br><embed src="http://lads.myspace.com/videos/vplayer.swf" flashvars="m=7368242&v=2&type=video" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="430" height="346"></embed><br><a href="http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.addToProfileConfirm&videoid=7368242&title=Sufjan Stevens - Casimir Pulaski Day">Add to My Profile</a> | <a href="http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.home"> More Videos</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-8503120999502660432007-01-23T21:56:00.000-05:002007-01-23T23:49:22.104-05:00sufjan has daddy issues, and other boys I don't understandWhile I was sitting alone in my car tonight, my Zune (which is partially intuitive, of course. Not like those damn iPods.) decided to play 'Seer's Tower' by Sufjan Stevens. He is amazing but he has issues. Daddy issues. 'Illinoise' is ripe with them. The lyrics to Seer's tower go:<br /><br />"In the tower above the earth, <br />There is a view that reaches far <br />Where we see the universe, <br />I see the fire, I see the end. <br /><br />Seven miles above the earth, <br />There is Emmanuel of mothers. <br />With his sward, with his robe, <br />He comes dividing man from brothers. <br /><br />In the tower above the earth, we built it for Emmanuel. <br />In the powers of the earth, we wait until it rips and rips. <br />In the tower above the earth, we built it for Emmanuel. <br />Oh my mother, she betrayed us, but my father loved and bathed us. <br /><br />Still I go to the deepest grave, <br />Where I go to sleep alone."<br /><br />Yeah, OKAY, Sufjy. Whatever. You must be making enough for some kind of therapy at this point.<br /><br />The reason I was sitting alone in my car is because I had recently made a phone call to an old friend and was sitting in the parking lot to see if I would get a response.<br /><br />Here's the thing...this old friend of mine, I haven't spoken to him since May. So that's about 8 months. This person is also my oldest friend (well, not oldest age wise, that would be Nickolas (ha ha cheap shot), but oldest as in longest.) and I've known him since I was 15.<br /><br />Ah, what does it matter, anyway? People come in and out of our lives like the breeze. There are those who stay and those who go. There are those who stay for a while and then those who are as fleeting as a breath. It's not a choice thing. <br /><br />I'm tired of the being angry. I know that it won't be the same but what ever IS the same, really? And is being the same good? <br /><br />So I sat. Listening to that Sufjan song and glancing up at the windows above me.<br /><br />I didn't get an answer.<br /><br />Perhaps I don't deserve one. I know I have been a shit in my life. But there is shittiness on both sides. But I want to put all that shit behind me. And start on some new shit. Start a whole new shitty book and shitty times and good times.<br /><br />Because that is life.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-82434328013277736422007-01-03T21:14:00.000-05:002007-01-03T21:30:17.056-05:00i <3 PBScurrently watching: <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wnet/americanmasters/database/leibovitz_a.html">American Masters: Annie Leibowitz</a>. She is amazing.<br /><br />currently loving: solitude, the thought of sleep, Spoon's 'Gimmie Fiction'. <br /><br />currently wishing: I lived in the 60's, had a little more money, was somewhere warm and beautiful that smells like incense and flowers<br /><br />currently feeling: poor, anxious for my tax return, nervous about money<br /><br />Almost finished with 'Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim'. Looking to read <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Prime-Green-Remembering-Robert-Stone/dp/0060198168/sr=8-1/qid=1167877616/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-8657410-6491956?ie=UTF8&s=books">Prime Green: Remembering the Sixties</a> by Robert Stone, maybe some stuff by Tom Wolff.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-54974918438966298292007-01-02T21:41:00.000-05:002007-01-02T22:17:16.626-05:00enjoy your rabbitI'm what you might call a music snob or...music elitist. I listen to stuff that I think is good, disregard the standard poppy/rappy crap and voice my musical opinion to whoever listens. I have strong opinions about Madonna's last album and her albums before that. I have issues with Coldplay's latest album, to whom I feel betrayed. It's good to have an opinion about SOMETHING, my 8th grade English teacher told me during a debate portion of our class. To have an opinion meant you had a brain, with thoughts in it. My father, while I was working on my index cards for my Pro-Life side of our debate the next day, said I was too young to have an opinion, that I hadn't had enough experience to have anything to say about anything. That's stuck with me since. So if I have an opionion, or if something rocks, or sucks, I tell you. Because I have an opinion. You don't have to listen, but I'm going to tell you what I think.<br /><br />And here's the what. I have become increasingly aware over the past, well, three years that there are bands out there that basically exist under the horizon line, never bobbing up onto the the surface, happy blowing bubbles under the water of near-obscurity.<br /><br />I like these bands. I like the indie-don't-give-shit-we'll-put-out-our-own-record-and-tour-in-my-mom's-van attitude. I want to keep them in my pocket. I want them to stay small and not want to get famous and tour tiny little venues and shhh...just don't go on TRL, promise. And when they do get big, I kind of back away going "Who the HELL are you?" Ah, Coldplay. They broke my heart. They could've been SMALL, I tell you! They could've just remained on that slow-mo, out of focus Yellow beach forever. Ok, Rush of Blood to Head kicked ASS. But that started their rapid, steady decline into Crapdom. They could've been great. <br /><br />But I digress...<br /><br />I think this is why I like Wilco, Spoon, Neko Case and some others so much. Wilco has existed for SO long and they've only had one "major" hit, which was 'Box Full of Letters' which hit the charts when I was effing high school, for Christ's sake. These bands seem to exist in my head, my own private orchestra, full of emotion and hidden meaning. Listening makes me feel better. It makes me think and dance and write and sing. I feel lucky to have them, knowing I'll NEVER have to make choice between listening to Fergie's new album or that great new P Diddy single. God, it makes me want to put my head through a plate glass window, it really does. It's almost unbearable. Ugh.<br /><br />Music is important to me. It's a tangible memory. It's a memory I can listen to. <br /><br />Playlist from this evening (as you can see, the Zune shuffle can be a bit weird)<br />Mer Girl, Madonna<br />29, Ryan Adams<br />Believe, Gus Gus<br />Polybackwards, Gus Gus<br />Nature is the Law, Richard Ashcroft<br />Small Stakes, Spoon<br />The Two Sides of Monsieru Valentine, Spoon ("Every morning, I've got a new chance.")<br />They're Winning, the Walkmen<br />Kicking Television (live), Wilco<br />Blues Die Hard, Uncle Tupelo<br />Year of Our Lord, Sufjan Stevens<br />Heaven, the Talking Heads<br />My Mathematical Mind, Spoon (possibly one of my favorite songs...Britt Daniel has one of the voices, man.)<br />Death of a Disco Dancer, the Smiths<br />God Put a Smile Upon Your Face, Coldplay<br />Love is the New Feel Awful, the Dandy WarholsUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-42107956822125228372007-01-01T12:00:00.000-05:002007-01-01T12:15:52.256-05:00manufactured angerI'm watching a brilliant documentary on IFC right now called "Punk: Attitude". I really enjoy watching documentaries and I love listening to people with something to say. It's about the underground punk scene in the 70's, 80's and 90's. They've got Chrissie Hynde and Henry Rollins yacking about the punk scene. It's very special. If you're into it, it's on again this afternoon. I love Henry Rollins. He's not afraid to say exactly what he means.<br /><br />I LOVE IFC. I love their stuff, I love the movies they play. It's like PBS with a middle finger. There's a new movie coming out, done in the style of 1940's film noir called "The Good German". It's going to be Cate Blanchett's year, I think. I hope it comes to the Colonial.<br /><br />It's a dark, rainy New Year's day. I've got to go to my parents to do laundry at some point. Ugh. My brain is all foggy. I'm getting old.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-36721288603103402042006-12-30T06:06:00.000-05:002006-12-30T09:03:25.810-05:00amGood morning. It's 6AM and I've been up since about 4:30. I'm not sure why exactly. I had a leetle too much margarita last night so I'm not totally sure what time I went to bed. I'm not usually a morning person either but I got bored just lying here so I got up, had some cereal and 13 gallons of water and surfed the web a bit.<br /><br />I'm looking to make a BIG purchase in 2007--a Nikon d50 camera. It's something that I really want and really think that I'll use so I've made my mind up. I would really like to take a photography class and learn more and get better because I truly, truly enjoy it. I've done a lot of reading and comparisons online so I feel I know what I'm doing and know what I'm getting. I've looked at the d70 but it almost looks like too much camera and I'm afraid if I'm intimidated by it, I won't use it. I know that I could probably stash that cash in the bank or something but it's my money and I'll do what I want with it. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll have enough from my tax return because, if not, I'm staying with my Canon.<br /><br />My sister is a big fan of Hunter S. Thompson. She's read all his books. I can't get into them. I wish I could. They just released a book of his photos which I wanted to get my sister for her birthday--but it's $300. You can see some of the pictures <a href="http://ammobooks.com/">here</a>. <br /><br />The thing I love about photography is that it freezes a moment in time. Any time photos are recovered that are old and contain moments we've forgotten is so completely awesome.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-45308248930487595332006-12-27T20:53:00.000-05:002008-11-12T22:08:43.260-05:00trivialAh, the ins and outs of new technology.<br /><br />I asked for a Zune for Christmas this year. I'm "anti" iPod...meaning I don't see the point of iTunes. I stopped buying CDs years ago, relying on the disease ridden whore of the internet, Limewire, for my music. I understand that artists want to get paid but honestly--aren't they getting paid enough? I pay $15 a month and get unlimited downloads. I've downloaded 78 albums in the last two days...with an average of 10 songs per album, that almost 800 songs. For $15. Hello? Am I the only one scratching my head?<br /><br />Yes, I know Microsoft is an evil, heartless empire--but so is America. I mean, c'mon. It's all the same money, people. And yes, as backrubby, pallyaroundy Apple is, they're catering to the same market, with the same promises. They're just doing it better than Microsoft. They've managed to convince the world that the world NEEDS iPod. I guess I would feel differently if I had an enormous CD collection but thanks to an old friend, most of collection was stolen out of the back of a car a few years ago. And anyway, tastes change. Why must I got out and buy a CD if I want an album? CDs are a dead technology. They'll be like VHS in a year or two. And why should I have to pay full price? Music should be free...or at the very least, rented for a monthly fee. <br /><br />Please. Stop paying these people too much money. Maybe if we stop paying her so much Britney Spears won't be able to afford another kid professionally OR financially. The more kids she spits out the longer we're going to have to read about them in the press. Britney is the new Elvis, anyway. There's young Britney and now there's Fat Britney. Pretty soon she'll slip in the bathroom and pass out between the toliet and the tub and we'll be voting for which postal stamp we want. <br /><br />Which is why I'm against iPods.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCjp7zFvCBEZsCarNqGBremEj-Fd3oolXjHBMRUbw7xNCqhKRjiaLgb3fdeogBYIzozHToBNxb2TxKx5Z4FNAiZv9yPyyVk6k8yfy2JPoYCvWm6JTGYI6pE3BVLiIwEal9Q98/s1600-h/britneybagfin_1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCjp7zFvCBEZsCarNqGBremEj-Fd3oolXjHBMRUbw7xNCqhKRjiaLgb3fdeogBYIzozHToBNxb2TxKx5Z4FNAiZv9yPyyVk6k8yfy2JPoYCvWm6JTGYI6pE3BVLiIwEal9Q98/s320/britneybagfin_1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5013394683331270546" /></a><br /><p>It's all Britney's fault.<br /><p><br />picture from <a href="http://galleryoftheabsurd.typepad.com"> Gallery of the Absurd</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-31422476214660126952006-12-21T22:45:00.000-05:002006-12-21T22:48:07.571-05:00time isn't holding us...time isn't after usI've been reading my horoscope and it seems very promising. But isn't that the point of horoscopes? You'll never find one that says "Today you'll step in dog poo." or "You're going to be hit by a mail truck in March." But regardless, I'm on my 12 year switcheroo. I'm a little weirded out by what may happen. <br /><br /><a href="http://freewillastrology.com/home.shtml">From FreeWill Astrology</a>: <br /><br />Happy Holy Daze, Sagittarius! My gift for you is the following oracle: A breakthrough you were blessed with in 1995 will be coming back around in 2007. How? Three possible ways: (1) You'll be inspired to make changes to whatever sprung from that original breakthrough 12 years ago. (2) You'll be visited by a new version of that breakthrough, on a higher octave this time. (3) You'll attempt a quantum leap that resembles the original, but happens in a different area of your life. <br /><br />I've been trying to figure out what happened to me in 1995 but thanks to ganj and nonstick cookware, it took me a while to figure out that in 1995 I was 15. What the fuck was I doing when I was 15? What were YOU doing in 1995? What does it mean?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-15767327586278782382006-12-19T22:29:00.000-05:002006-12-19T22:39:56.349-05:0010 on Tuesday10 Best Things That Happened to You This Year<br /><br />1. MOVED OUT OF MANCHESTER. I actually could just leave that and be done. Best. Decision. Ever.<br />2. Went to <a href="http://flickr.com/photos/jenlynpics/sets/72157594363634006/">Japan</a> with Nickolas. Absolutely fucking amazing.<br />3. Reconnected with Dani and <a href="http://flickr.com/photos/jenlynpics/sets/72157594192189305/">her</a> <a href="http://flickr.com/photos/jenlynpics/sets/72157594192192519/">family</a>.<br />4. Faced the music financially and finally started paying that piper.<br />5. Got my own apartment finally.<br />6. Had a redneck hillbilly mechanic break my SIRIUS antennae, fought with Radioshack and got a new antennae and a new <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/jenlynpics">camera</a>.<br />7. <a href="http://flickr.com/photos/jenlynpics/sets/72157594291874368/">Arlo</a>.<br />8. Got over my fear of flying (for now).<br />9. Got some help to start feeling normal.<br />10. Saw Wilco <a href="http://flickr.com/photos/jenlynpics/sets/72157594201771126/">TWICE</a>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-5060253562678181702006-12-19T22:05:00.000-05:002006-12-19T22:23:07.337-05:00Is it Easter yet?I'm told that this is a common feeling this year, but I don't feel very Christmas-y. There's no snow. I have no tree, which is not entirely the problem since I haven't had a tree in three years. I have a little itty bitty tree on my TV that can stay there until the Fourth of July for all I care--I hardly notice it. And other than the obnoxious lights on the doublewide up the road, I don't think I would know it was Christmas except for this sudden, palatable urge the strikes me every so often.<br /><br />Presents?<br /><br />It is true. I have little to no money for presents this year. It bums me out a little because, unfortunately, I know that sometimes people expect gifts. I just don't have the cash. I'm baking loaves of yummy bread to give away with jars of homemade peach jam. I'm buying into the materialistic side of the holiday because I've never done this before--made my own gifts. Why do I feel like it's a cop out?<br /><br />In the days of my youth...scratch that. When I was young and stupid, I would have blown half my rent and the rest of my bill money on extravagant gifts for my friends and family. And I would buy for everybody. I would buy for people who weren't close friends. I would just, y'know, pick something up. Did it make them like me any better? I can honestly say, for all the random Christmas shoppery in my past, I doubt I can count one person who I last-minute-guilt-gifted as a near and dear.<br /><br />I know that this is silly, materialistic and pointless talk. Christmas is, of course, about family and friends and reflection. For me, it means going to Christmas Eve services with my family and playing hangman with my sister and laughing about how my brother sings the hymns. We are an embarrassing lot, us Children. We snicker and make faces and roll our eyes and our grandmother just smiles and offers us stale gum from the bottom of her purse. After the services, we duck out and go up to my grandmother's house, where there's a cache of food and the Christmas Story to watch and younger cousins to laugh at.<br /><br />It's the same every year.<br /><br />But this year, it's like all the spirit and fun just got sucked out. Seattle has, begrudgingly, gotten all of our snow. I dislike winter, but I dislike it even more when the convenient white cover is stripped away, allowing us to see and smell the rotting world around us. Usually, the snow takes away the smell of composting leaves but without it, the world smells putrid. I'm not asking for a lot of snow. Just enough to make things pretty. And smell better.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-5401928173121379992006-12-18T20:27:00.000-05:002006-12-18T20:39:11.292-05:00on the roadshow, the most annoying antiques are the peopleOh, PBS. Can it be true? Is the endless nuclear winter of fundraising finally dawning into a education-filled spring?<br /><br />They're playing 'Antiques Roadshow'. I almost cried. I watch it and say "It's just a box! Are you nuts!" I've missed the normal programming. I've been flipping around. I should be reading before I slip into early Alzheimer's. However, I do enjoy when people find out that a bunch of kids in China made their mahogany sideboard that their dear old grandma had told them came over on the Mayflower when in actuality she bought it at Ames, and that they might as well chop it up and sell it for firewood. I know, it's a sadisic pleasure. There's a 'Will and Grace' about that. The teapot episode. I also hate when they say "Are you sure?" to the snooty appraisers, like they're on Candid Camera and not a respectable show like 'Antiques Roadshow'.<br /><br />I've been trying to decide where I should go next year. I think somewhere in Asia again. Possibly Vietnam. Any thoughts?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-68675501340278988422006-12-17T19:12:00.000-05:002006-12-17T22:06:46.336-05:00adventures in alcoholThe instructions were clear.<br /><br />"We only have fifteen minutes. Think about what you want. We don't have time for you to be dancing around with a weird bottle of something-or-other."<br /><br />Yet, while I was collecting an armful of midget-sized bottles of voka which I ultimately put back, Nick was perusing the near-empty shelves of what I have dubbed "the Weird Stuff". Plumb wine, saki, other odd things. I didn't know what I felt like. Yet there he was, dancing around with a bottle of <a href="http://www.cocktaildb.com/ingr_detail?id=433">Kijafa</a>, cherry wine from Denmark. He also had a bottle of Reisling and something else. I grabbed a bottle of six dollar champagne and made him choose between his armful of booze. <br /><br />The Kijafa went well with the champagne, I guess. It was a little too sweet with the champagne, especially since the champagne warm. I went searching this morning to find the real way to drink Kijafa. The one way I found was to mix it with your favorite soda. Mmmmm...like an old skool cherry coke. I waited until it was socially acceptable to have some (it's only like 15% alcohol, anyway) and had some with some Diet Coke. Kijafa is a deep, dark cherry red. Blended with the Coke, it created a syrupy, ruby black. It's yummy. If you're looking for something weird to add to your collection, I can recommend it. <br /><br />I just sobbed through the second half of 'Tsunami: the AfTermath;'. There are points that you just stop watching and try to imagine what YOU would do if your entire family was swept away. It just rips your heart out.<br /><br />I made four loaves of bread today. I'm nuts.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-90168049520045336012006-12-17T16:05:00.000-05:002006-12-17T16:07:33.194-05:00why that kid who wrote 'eragon' is full of shit and other ramblingsThis celebrates my return to blogger. Hello.<br /><br />The thing that I dislike, really, the only thing (except for my child-abusing WT neighbors), about my apartment is the glaring absence of a washing machine and dryer. At this point, I would settle for a washer, a la The Second Marlborough Apartment. I'd string a clothesline out my window and recreate an Irish ghetto in New York in the 20's. At The Second Marlborough Apartment, we'd jam about three loads of clothes into our finicky, loud washing machine. We'd drizzle in the cheapest laundry detergent I could find, the kind that basically just foams a bit and takes a stab at the chicken grease smell on my roommate's clothes, before giving up and getting sucked away into the nether regions of the town's water supply. We'd drape our clothes over a meager clothesline on our closed-in porch, letting them dry in the frigid New Hampshire winter, caking with cigarette ashes and cat hair. When they were dry, you had to roll them with a lint brush for an hour or possibly wash them again. Or be lazy and just throw them on the floor until next week.<BR><BR>That said, it provided us with the luxury of being able to do our laundry without having to traipse down the stairs and into Keene.<BR><BR>I'm at the point where I'm going to haul my clothes down to the little river down the road and beat my laundry against a rock.<BR><BR>The third, less glamorous option is to bring my laundry to the car and make the half an hour drive up to my parents' house and do my laundry in exchange for some hard labor and only a mild dose of parental guilt and Patriots football. This is what I usually do. I see my dog, talk to my parents, watch a few mind-numbing hours of football (or worse, GOLF), do my mom's ironing and clean the bathrooms. Sometimes I stay for supper. Sometimes I brave the barrage of parental guilt and say that I'm not staying for supper. Other times, like today, I make the phone call and say I'm not coming at all.<BR><BR>I just don't feel like it, ok?<BR><BR>My finger hurts. My mother thinks I broke it and that I should go to the hospital. I am typing this right now with my middle finger and my pointer finger on my right hand. My father said I sprained it and laughed when I told him how I, cat sitting for a coworker, slipped on a puddle of cat piss and landed on the porcelain sink with my pinky finger and right shoulder, uttering loud obscenities into an empty house. This also comes after administering third degree burns to my right hand while making bread earlier this week. <BR><BR>I may just amputate my right hand and teach myself to type with my right foot.<BR><BR>However, I don't feel like making the drive today. I'm listening to NPR and reading and making bread and making my apartment messy. I just want to sit in my POANG, read some Sedaris, and listen to the useless, near-maniacal ramblings of the ridiculous woman on 'the Delicious Dish'...otherwise known as 'the Splendid Table'. Whilst listening, I must constantly remind myself that Lynne Rossetto Kasper is not Molly Shannon swooning over Alec Baldwin's Schwetty Balls or tripping her toes off on wild mushrooms with Sean Hayes. It's not SUPPOSED to be funny, Jen.<BR><BR>Luckily, it is slightly, accidentally funny. No one gets that excited talking about kugle. C'mon. She describes a cranberry sorbet in the voice most people reserve to relay a hot night of freaky sex. Maybe she's drunk. Maybe I should be drunk. Maybe I should get drunk, call in, and get her all hot and bothered over German Roasted Nuts.<BR><BR>I'm in a weird mood this afternoon. I've got a champagne headache from last night and I have very little remorse that the bottle and way too many glasses are still hanging out on my coffee table, along with my cereal bowl from this morning. I'm losing the battle with the dirty dishes. I did a whole sinkful (which is not that impressive once I tell you I have a bar sink) this morning and have more to do. Blah. This is boring.<BR><BR>Maybe I'll turn of the radio and tune into the Endless Drama that is My WT next door neighbors.<BR><BR>By the way, that kid who wrote 'Eragon' is full of shit. People like that make me nervous.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-1141501417634660582006-03-04T14:39:00.000-05:002006-03-04T15:09:30.586-05:00konichiwa bitchesI am moving my blog to <a href="http://www.myspace.com/jenlyn1123">Myspace</a>.<br /><br />I have finally experienced the incredible paranoia upon realization that there are some people out there who I do not want to read this. <br /><br />I have succumbed to not wanting to share myself with these people. <br /><br />It sucks but I'm always at Myspace anyway...so I'll put the archives back up in a few days. <br /><br />And this will be our little secret.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-1141088726893969612006-02-27T20:05:00.000-05:002006-02-27T20:05:26.950-05:00+listening: Seven Below, Round Room, Phish<br /><br />participation positives<br /><br />+ Got my security deposit back<br />+ I get to get a new cell phone on Friday (it's the important things, people!)<br />+ Myspace...it makes me happy<br />+ Limewire working enough for me to download three Mr. Sex On a Stick Ryan Adams albums this weekend<br />+ Friday night drink with The Boys<br />+ shaking off a bad day<br />+ laughing with my parents over dinner<br />+ 'Gold'<br />+ 'Permanent Midnight'...Ben Stiller needs to do more drama<br />+ remembering to do participation positivesUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-1140389913225491702006-02-19T17:23:00.000-05:002006-02-19T17:58:33.286-05:00the name's wilder...laura ingalls wilderlistening: It's Bad You Know, RL Burnside<br /><br />"The great dark trees of the Big Woods stood all around the house and beyond them were other trees and beyond them were more trees. As far as a man could go to north in a day por a week or a whole month there was nothing but woods. There were no people. There were only trees and the wild animals that made their homes amoung them..."<br />-The Big Woods, Laura Ingalls Wilder<br /><br />I grew up in a log cabin on 64 acres of no-bones-about-it wildnerness in southern New Hampshire. There were no neighbors. There was, for a very long time, no phone. There was no FOX network. There was sheep and chickens. There were trees. <br /><br />I loved growing up in the woods until I was about twelve. I read all of the Little House books and felt like they were written for me. I became aware that other people didn't live like this. Other people had cable. Other people had neighbor kids to play with. Other kids didn't think it was fun to chase sheep and play Rock Shop.<br /><br />As I've gotten older, I've grown to love the solitude and isolation that my parents' house provides. It's quiet. It's beautiful. You can see the stars. I feel like I'm the only person in the world sometimes and I like that.<br /><br />HOWEVER, there are times when the novelty wears off...waaay off. Like this weekend, for example. New Hampshire got hit by a windo storm Friday night. I made plans to make dinner for Nick at my parents house and watch a movie (I was all period-y and didn't want to go out and drink). I went to Hannafords and bought a pork tenderloin and some fennel and salad and wine and started the drive up. Halfway down my parent's road I realized there were no lights on at the hpouse of the top of the road. When I got to the driveway I saw the tree on the lines. <br /><br />Great. No friggin' power. I wanted to cook dinner and go pee and watch a movie. I also freaking hate the dark. And it was DARK. The dogs were freaking out. I got nervous and called Nick and he didn't want to come up and I got mad and tried to start a fire in the woodstove and couldn't. I gave up, locked Chip in his crate and went to Nick's to spend the night and get toasty and eat dinner like I wanted. Saturday morning, I woke up and drove back to my parent's house. Still no power. Chip was pissed at me. I had gone grocery shopping before I got home and bought one of those fire starter logs and made a fire. I turned the couch around and opened the grate on the stove and sat and read Little House books all day. It was glorious. It's kind of like my camping. I bloody hate camping. But I like sitting in a warm house and reading in front of a fire. I made tea on the stove and soup. See, I don't mind the no lights thing until it starts getting dark. Then I get nervous. At about 730pm, I called my grandmother. <br /><br />My grandmother and I have a very strange relationship. I didn't use to like her, at all. She said terrible things to me but I totally respected her for what she did for her family. It wasn't until the whole fam went down to Orlando for my sister's graduation that I really began to see that she is a very cool lady. She's young, I think, for a grandmother (I call her Nana, BTW). And she hates when people treat her like an old lady. She does the whole Red Hat thing. She swears. She goes to church. She's hilarious. I went down to her house and my Nana and I watched Lifetime movies all night. <br /><br />This morning, while my Nana went to church, I drove home and a lovely PSNH tree truck followed me home. An hour later, voila! there was lights.<br /><br />And my Little House moment was over.<br /><br />So I watched "Dr. No".<br /><br />I think Laura Ingalls would have watched "Dr. No" if she had electricity, too.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-1139884756281671262006-02-13T21:39:00.000-05:002006-02-13T21:39:16.346-05:00manic mondayIf you haven't seen the <a href="http://www.bravotv.com/Inside_the_Actors_Studio/guests/Dave_Chappelle.shtmlhttp://www.bravotv.com/Inside_the_Actors_Studio/guests/Dave_Chappelle.shtml">Dave Chapelle</a> 'Inside the Actor's Studio' yet, try to catch it. The man's a genius. He defines our time. And he wears cool zippies.<br /><br />New favourite thing: <a href="javascript:popUp('/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=F&Product_Code=SUGARBODYLOTION')">Fresh Lemon Sugar Body Lotion</a><br /><br />I'm out.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-1139713019079982972006-02-11T21:56:00.000-05:002006-12-18T20:26:26.797-05:00in love with the worldCuz I missed Monday and I'm feeling happy...<br /><br />+ sweet potato burritos from <a href="http://www.armadillosburritos.com/default.asp">Armadillos</a>--SO GOOD.<br />+ key lime pie martinis at 21.<br />+ <a href="http://www.tonyclamatos.com/">Tony's, Tony's, Tony's</a>...damn, I missed that place!...even if the new paint job in the bathroom skeeves me out<br />+ <a href="http://www.philosophy.com/web/store/product_10001_10001_-1_53007_30068">big mouth lip gloss</a> from philosphy<br />+ <a href="http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P50714&categoryId=B70">STELLA</a>!<br />+ old friends<br />+ Emilie resurfaced--missed you, bitches.<br />+ walks with the dogs<br />+ pretending to be a photographer<br />+ building a fire in the woodstove...you can take the girl out of Winchester but you can't take the Winchester out of the girl.<br />+ <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/dance/blueroom/?focuswin">Blue room on BBCradio</a>.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-1139171486019650712006-02-05T14:51:00.001-05:002006-02-07T00:19:51.360-05:00remember when Tom Cruise wasn't crazy?...and other things that make me feel oldSo I've been back in Keene for four days and honestly, it's good to be back. I feel like I belong here more than ever. <br /><br />Watched Clueless this morning. I told my mother I thought Clueless defined my generation. My parents had Apocolypse Now and American Graffiti and I have Clueless. Does anyone agree with me? Am I totally off my mark here? Now I'm watching the Firm while surfing through Sephora for Good Things. Remember when Tom Cruise did all those great movies in the 90's? I mean, I know some of them sucked (see Cocktail) but the rest of them were great. His current state of nutcase really came out of leftfield. Poor Tommy...<br /><br />Um, I don't know if anyone saw that NBC is pimping Law & Order this week because Kathleen Turner is guest starring. One of my fave movies growing up was Romancing the Stone and I thought she was great. She's kind of become a charicature of herself. Like, for example...this is how I remember her:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3203/4/1600/regkath.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3203/4/320/regkath.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />And I almost killed myself laughing when I saw something that was much scarier but very similar to THIS on TV last night:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3203/4/1600/yikes.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3203/4/320/yikes.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />I'm totally concerned for her. I see where this is going...<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3203/4/1600/thefuture.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3203/4/320/thefuture.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><center><br />"Mr. Perlman, are you trying to seduce me?"<br /></center><br /><br />AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! I'm so scared.<br /><br />So I don't really have a lot to say. However, I stole this from Nicole because I think it's a good idea. <br /><br />27 x 27<br />(27 things I want to accomplish by the time I'm 27--November 23rd)<br /><br />1. Sign up for a class at Franklin Pierce.<br />2. Find an apartment.<br />3. Go to the doctor.<br />4. Go SOMEWHERE outside of the Northeast-like California.<br />5. Lose 50 lbs.<br />6. Stop chewing my nails.<br />7. Read a book a month...we'll start small!<br />8. Pay my parents back most of the money I owe them.<br />9. Pay off my bloody student loans.<br />10. Start exercising.<br />11. Get my hair cut correctly and maintain it so I stop looking like a mop.<br />12. Take Penny and Lily to the vet for a checkup.<br />13. Spend a weekend in Boston with my sister.<br />14. Go to Amsterdam on cheapo depot Icelandair tickets ($150 round trip!)<br />15. Find a nice boy.<br />16. Spend quality time with old friends.<br />17. Save up money for a sweet camera.<br />18. Get a raise.<br />19. Stop eating crap.<br />20. Start learning another language...French, maybe?<br />21. write more<br />22. Get a good pair of black heels.<br />23. Get my eyebrows threaded.<br />24. Go to Montreal.<br />25. Listen to good music...no more crap.<br />26. Fix the antennae on my car so I can actually get radio stations.<br />27. Lose US Cellular and get a better phone.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-1138211473647772442006-01-25T12:51:00.000-05:002006-01-25T12:51:13.703-05:00I like him better with a mullet, anyway.It amuses me more than necessary that you can feed "peter sarsgaard hairy chest photos" into yahoo search and my blog pops up...sorry to whoever came here looking for sordid pics of Mr. Sarsgaard. Hope you weren't too disappointed.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-1138156507733145432006-01-24T21:19:00.000-05:002006-03-01T00:31:27.730-05:00zelda...don't ask.Wait...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3203/4/1600/ryan.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3203/4/400/ryan.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-422850.post-1138073532451149812006-01-23T22:31:00.000-05:002006-01-23T22:32:12.463-05:00it's that kind of night"it's way too late to think of<br />someone I would call now<br />the neon signs got tired<br />red eye flights help the stars out<br />I'm safe in a corner<br />just hours before me<br /><br />I'm waking with the roaches<br />the world has surrendered<br />I'm dating ancient ghosts<br />[the ones I made friends with]<br />the comfort of fireflies<br />long gone before daylight<br /><br />and if I had one wish fulfilled tonight<br />I'd ask for the sun to never rise<br />if God lent his voice to me to speak<br />I'd say: "go to bed, world!"<br /><br />I've always been too lame<br />to see what's before me<br />and I know nothing sweeter than<br />champagne from last new year's<br />sweet music in my ears<br />and a night full of no fear<br /><br />but if I had one wish fulfilled tonight<br />I'd ask for the sun to never rise<br />if God passed the mike to me to speak<br />I'd say: "stay in bed world<br /><br />...sleep in peace!"<br /><br />-03:45: No Sleep, Long Gone Before Daylight, the CardigansUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0